


Yours to Hold

by Yusuke (foxjar)



Series: Shukita Week 2019 [4]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abuse, Choking, Established Relationship, First Time, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Romance, Sexual Content, Shukita Week 2019, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-23 19:38:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18556456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxjar/pseuds/Yusuke
Summary: Akira comforts Yusuke after he has a nightmare.





	Yours to Hold

**Author's Note:**

> Shukita Week Day Four: first time/nightmares.
> 
> This is post-canon, and the characters are 18+.
> 
> Title from Mika's "Feels Like Love."

Yusuke knows he’s alone even before he opens his eyes. He can feel it in his body like a bad ache; the infinite loneliness surrounding him. All around him is that expanse of darkness, and he knows that no one is coming to help him. He’s running — to find something tangible to hold — but there’s nothing to grab onto.

His feet are still moving when he feels the sting of a slap against his cheek. It startles him, but instead of recoiling, he leans into the touch. He can’t remember the last time he’s been touched, and he yearns for it. The pain of loneliness seems so minuscule now — he can be misunderstood, he can be despised, just as long as someone touches him.

When the hand reaches out to wrap around his throat, he feels alive. Maybe he’s dying, or maybe he’s being brought back to life — it doesn’t matter. Not as long as those hands are on him to remind him that he’s real. He can feel them squeeze — can feel the malice in those hands — and it’s enough to throw him out of his dream.

It takes him a few seconds for his mind to return to reality. He’s in bed, and more importantly, he isn’t alone: Akira is lying beside him, one leg sprawled over Yusuke’s, pinning him against the wall.

It’s the first time his boyfriend is spending the night with him, and he had a nightmare. Instead of feeling relief and comfort at Akira being with him, he’s scared for inane reasons. With the clarity of his dream slipping away more every moment, it feels even more absurd, but the trepidation still lingers.

He twists his body just enough so that he can look at Akira. His eyes are closed, and his mouth is open slightly as he breathes in and out; a steady rhythm that lulls Yusuke. Every so often, his brow twitches, as if something in his dream is frustrating him.

Yusuke wonders if he’s the one causing his boyfriend irritation as he sleeps, and instead of worrying him more, the thought comforts him. That Akira could be dreaming of him — there’s little more he’d love to see than that.

He’s still watching him when Akira wakes up. His eyes twitch again — maybe in surprise this time — but before Yusuke can apologize, Akira is scooting towards him. One hand rests on his hip, while the other grabs the front of his shirt to pull him closer.

Yusuke can almost forget his dream when they kiss. It’s soft and sweet, as Akira is still half asleep. They haven’t done much more than make out yet, but with Akira in bed with him, Yusuke is tempted to try more. And with the way Akira’s fingers are slipping beneath his shirt to touch his waist, he thinks he might want more, too.

It’s Akira who makes the next move, straddling Yusuke while his hands pull up his shirt. Despite the darkness, Yusuke thinks he can almost make out a grin on his face. His fingers are warm against his chest, but foreign, and he has to repress bucking him off when Akira touches his stomach. Nobody has ever touched him there, and he hadn’t realized he’s so ticklish. The fluttery sensation is better than the nothing that loneliness brings, though, and if anything, it relaxes him just a bit.

Akira seems to have noticed, because he avoids touching his stomach again. Instead, he leans over him to capture his lips again. His hands wander along Yusuke’s body: his neck, collarbone, nipples. Over and over, he traces the same paths, as if trying to memorize every inch of him.

The feeling of Akira cupping him through the front of his pants is something else entirely. It’s new, but it’s Akira’s hands on him — he trusts him, and that trust isn’t misplaced. His movements are slow and careful; exploratory as he tries to find what Yusuke likes.

Yusuke wishes he could tell him — could express with words — what he wants.

 _You,_ he thinks. _Just you._

But that would explain nothing other than his desire for it to be Akira touching him, and no one else. Not like this, anyways; nothing this intimate. His lips are Akira’s to kiss, and his skin is Akira’s to tickle, if he so pleases.

When Akira reaches into his pants, Yusuke sucks in a breath. His hands are warm and soft, caressing him in a way only he’s done for himself before. But it’s different from the times he’s touched himself like this; it’s more intense, as he focuses on each sensation: Akira pumping him, while pressing kisses along his lips and cheeks every so often.

He can’t hold in his moans, and at first, Akira’s movements slacken, as if surprised. Yusuke has another apology ready — haphazard and lacking logic — when Akira continues, his hand moving more quickly this time.

“Don’t hold in your voice,” he says, letting out a breathy sigh of his own. “I like it.”

Hearing Akira’s voice so deep with arousal just makes his mind reel more; makes his body burn even hotter. He’s bucking his hips now, wanting to feel more — to feel everything his boyfriend has to give him. But it’s been so long since he’s touched himself, and he feels the end coming on too soon. If he asked Akira to stop — to let him linger in this bliss for just a moment longer — he knows he would, but he doesn’t have it in him to muster the words. The only sound he’s able to make is that incessant moaning; embarrassing to his own ears, but magic to Akira’s.

When he comes, he grabs himself to avoid making a mess. Akira kisses him through every moment as his body trembles after his first orgasm with another person. He ever so slightly scratches down Yusuke's collarbone with the fingers not cupping his cheek; just a small way of enhancing his high.

Yusuke’s eyes have grown more accustomed to the darkness by now, and when he opens his eyes, he sees Akira snuggling into the blankets beside him, as if they’re finished. On another night, he might have let this slide, but not tonight — not with Akira so close to him, and so willing. He rolls over on top of his boyfriend, mimicking his actions from earlier, but instead of straddling his hips, he rests in between his legs. Everything about it feels right, even before Akira wraps his legs around his waist to pull him closer and keep him there.

Akira lasts much longer than he did, presumably because he’s more in-tune with his body and masturbation than Yusuke is. He loves the thought — the mental picture it sets in his mind — of Akira moaning, unable to stop touching himself while thinking about Yusuke. All the things he’d like him to do to him; every part of his body that he needs lavished.

Only when Akira finishes is he able to wind down; to curl up with his partner in their mutual bliss.

It isn’t long after they’ve cleaned up that Akira asks him about his dream. He’s running his hand up and down his still-bare side, at the behest of his boyfriend. After everything that’s happened, the dream seems so far away; distant and having lost most of its potency.

“I dreamt that Madarame was trying to kill me,” Yusuke says. He remembers the hands digging into his throat, but he doesn’t quite remember the pain.

“You don’t think —”

“No.” Yusuke kisses Akira, in an attempt to assuage some of his worry, and he feels lucky just having someone to care for him now. “But in some ways, I suppose he already did.”


End file.
